Tonight, I . . .

drank an entire 6pk of Lagunitas IPA by myself as I watched Monday Night Football out of the corner of my eyeball. I put the TV on mute and let the shit happen. One of my supported teams was victorious, while the other got their proverbial shit pushed in. My original plan was to go to a bar and have a pint or two. Then I realized what a colossal waste of time and money that would be and decided that drunk at home alone would be much more fun and less risky. That's right, risky. I can't keep doing dumb things.

I have been seriously considering the prospect of saving until next spring and moving back to the Bay Area. I'm not quite sure why. I really do keep having dreams about The Bay. Strange dreams. The funny thing is, if I did try again, I don't want to alert anyone I know. I want to be completely anonymous. Much the way I have tried to be here in my home town. It's worked well so far. The only difference is that back in the Bay I'd actually have buses and trains to take to things. Here, I'm pretty much stuck in one place the whole time. All of that aside, I really do just miss it. I miss wearing a jacket, I miss the Bay breeze, I miss . . . . lots of it.

I may change my mind about it all. I am going back in October to surprise my friend on her opening night Oakland Ballet performance. I'm going to try and gauge how I feel. Since I've come back here I've had nothing but a very strong urge to just work, work, work and save to get out of here as fast as I can. So let's see what it will feel like to be back in the Bay Area after four months. Will I feel a pull? If I don't, I guess that puts Southeast Asia back on the table.

I'm going to finish my last beer, mock this Cialis commercial, and sleep.