Friday, September 12, 2008

Hermit.

This week went by quickly. For that I am so very grateful. Highlights, well, I wish I actually had some to share. Instead, there is the following:

A storm is coming. I'm very excited. There is talk of 50 MPH winds. I intend to sit on the balcony and let my hair blow. Saturday is expected to be stormy and windy. Perfect sit-your-ass-indoors weather. Because I am a woman with strange interests, I have decided that this weekend was made for certain things: Beer, wine, American Football, reading and Netflix streaming. I have purchased two six packs (Sierra Nevada and Lagunitas IPA, if you care), one moderately priced 2003 Vintage California Cab, and the latest American Scholar. And I wonder why I am single, or manage to scare away men like you know who.

I actually don't mind drinking alone. And when I drink enough to make me pass out, I actually don't mind waking up alone. It all makes sense in my brain.

Even though I am making an effort to save money by not going out and doing all of my drinking at home alone, I did stop by the bar next to my job earlier this week. I met some interesting people. When we were relatively sober we began our conversation discussing politics, books, and cities. With time and beer our conversation topics went from the types of drugs we'd each done, how to smoke weed without papers, a bong, or a can, and whether the name for the whole thing Richard Gere supposedly did with the gerbils (hamsters) is called felching. It's not. What is it called when you stick a rodent up your butthole? So, you can see it was a pretty interesting night.

I think my coworkers are finally learning to accept me. Whatever that means. And as if I really gave a shit to begin with. Perhaps I gave a shit on some level, after all, who wants to be disliked? One of my coworkers came into my work space and asked me how to spell legit. I looked up at her and asked, "As in legitimate?" With a straight face she looked at me and said, "As in too legit to quit." This was complete with MC Hammer mannerism. I was not sure what was expected of me. I smiled and offered the spelling. This is from the same person who is always sure to share two pieces of information with me. One, the job I have is the least stressful and easiest of all in the company, so I should take some solace in that! If only they knew. I just want the paychecks baby! Paychecks are what will once again guarantee that I will be on the jet to (???). Two, in the same breath that I am told how easy my job is, this individual then tells me that everyone is "baffled" by how "good" I am because you only have to tell me things once and I "get them." I am mastering the art of the plastered, plastic smile. Her final thoughts for me, "Nobody's been this good at this job since me!"

*yawn*

I know she means well. Even so, it was our purchasing clerk who gave me the kindest compliment. His name is Bob. I had asked Bob for some insight into why everyone was so damned frazzled and unhappy. He shrugged and said, "That's just the damn screen printing business." I wanted to probe, but realized that Bob was too nice for me to over-intellectualize. Bob then looked at me and said, "If you ask me, you're too smart for this job. You need to be doing something else." I thanked him. Maybe one day.

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