I want to blog again. No, I need to blog again. And here's why: I don't have anything else to do! And I remember feeling that words were important to me, that it was important for me to write, express myself, and take the time to examine the world around me. I'd like to explore that feeling again.
Let's recount some of the things which have happened in the six years since I've written anything for this space.
- I had a child.
- I left my child's father after deciding he would be bad for us (he drank a LOT).
- After that relationship ended, I returned to the States from Korea and remained unemployed for four years.
- I finished a master's degree which was funded by one of the kindest humans on the planet.
- I found a job. Granted, it was only a part-time job, but the market for newly minted librarians in this part of the world isn't great. In fact, it sucks. For a lot of reasons.
- I was fired from that job after less than four months, and told nothing other than, "you're not the right person for this job." It's done. I don't want to dwell on it, because ultimately, I don't give a shit insofar as it can't be undone. Does it mar my ability to find another job...oh yeah. So, I am unemployed again.
- Unemployment is why I am considering another return to Asia. China this time, possibly as a librarian, but more than likely as an English teacher...again.
Until then, there are thoughts to be thought, ideas to be explored, and because all I have is time, why not use some of that time to write about the things that interest me, even though I'm actually not a very interesting person. That's not a knock. Seriously. It's just me telling it like it is. I have interests, just like any other person, but they're not very original. For example, I am interested in:
- Powerlifting
- Quantum physics
- Economics
- Public policy
- Education policy
- Information literacy
- Art
- Identity
- Addressing inequality of access to quality information, healthcare, education, infrastructure, food...this list could go on and on.
- Social Justice
These are just a few things that interest me, but like I said, I myself am not very interesting. I had thought that becoming a librarian would be a prime opportunity to advocate for the things which interest me, things about which I am passionate, but I am fairly certain I was wrong about that. Librarians aren't social justice actors. I don't know that librarians see themselves capable of effecting such change. Many of them are terrified of the idea that their profession might be good for anything other than story times, readers' advisory, or circulation. Librarians aren't great innovators. What's more, many librarians are constrained by politics or ideology and can't be more than babysitters anyway. Librarians aren't capable of a creative destruction that could transform the profession for the better when there are stakeholders (council members, deans, and citizens) to whom they must answer. Pissing people off isn't an option. So maybe I don't care about librarianship so much as it is information that I care more deeply about, especially if it means getting information to at-risk communities for whom the right information has real-life consequences. As a queer woman of color and single mother, this is more important to me than the title of librarian. After all, librarianship remains an incredibly white profession; therefore, would I ever be able to find my way, be comfortable, or be fully accepted? In my short-lived job I felt invisible to the white patrons. A few of them had a look of skepticism that I could be an actual librarian. Me? The only black-ish, non-white person on the staff? How could that be so? After all, I didn't look like a librarian.
And that's true. I don't look like a librarian because not many librarians look like me. So, rather than try and make myself feel comfortable in a profession whose demographics exclude me from acceptance, I am going to hold on to the tenets of the profession which I believe can serve my larger visions and beliefs. True, I'm not feeling very empowered right now as an unemployed single mother, but I'm going to hold on to librarianship's tenets of intellectual freedom, inquiry, and access, and somehow use my education to advocate for information's power to transform the lives of people like me.
No comments:
Post a Comment